Abridged Series
by Umbra the new chaser
Summary: Abridged series is a compilation of random Kingdom Hearts stories put together. They're pretty much just jokes people!
1. Terra and Umbra stuck in a Cherry Picker

Note: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters, content, etc.

One day, Terra and Umbra were so bored bored out of their minds.

Umbra looked at Terra with wide eyes and said, "Dude, I know what we can do. Let's build a mini golf course."

Terra looked at Umbra as if he had gone insane, but their was nothing else to do and it looks as if Umbra had something special planned for it.

"Alright, we'll do it, but do you have something special in mind for it?", asked Terra.

"Of course I do. I'll play against Xion and we'll see who will win. Winner gets 1000 munny.", Umbra said excitedly.

Terra and Umbra rent a cherry picker lift to direct Ven on what to do on the ground. They lift it up outside and start directing Ven.

"Ven! Go that way about 20 feet and draw a one there.", yelled Umbra through a megaphone.

Ven draws a one on the grass with white chalk dust.

"Ven that is the crappiest looking one i've ever seen!", said Umbra through the megaphone.

Terra took the megaphone, "No! Walk to your left about 10 feet, ya f***ing moron!"

Umbra took the megaphone, "Turn around....alright now drop it sideways."

Umbra and Terra laughed while Umbra said, "We're just telling him to put that there when we're not even going to put it there in the first place."

Terra asked while he took off his shoe, "You think I should throw this at him?"

"Do it!", replied Umbra.

Ven started to mark around the cherry picker, like Umbra demanded him to, and Terra dropped his shoe on Ven's head.

"Ow!"

Ven looked up at Umbra and Terra and then noticed the keys at the bottom of the cherry picker. Ven took the keys out and started laughing while walking away.

"Ha, I got the god damn keys!", Ven spoke while he laughed.

Umbra, through the megaphone, spoke, "Ven! Don't be don't a dick. You know what's gonna happen to you afterwards."

Ven replied, "Yeah, you two being stuck up there all day!"

Ven left with the keys and 1 hour passed.

"Hey, I just thought of a new idea for a hole.", Umbra said.

"What is it?"

"My foot going up Ven's ass hole, thats what it is!"

Umbra and Terra started laughing and another hour passed.

Umbra spoke, "Maybe we could rock the thing and we could jump down and kick Ven's ass."

"Yeah sure, that's how I wanted to spend the rest of my day....dead.", replied Terra.

2 more hours passed.

Umbra talked through the megaphone.

"It's been 4 and a half f***ing hours now."

"Who are you talking to?"

"My f***ing self!"

Terra started laughing and Aqua started walking towards them.

Aqua shouted, "What are you boys doing up there?"

"Ven took the f***ing keys!", Umbra replied.

Aqua shouted back, "You don't need the keys, you see that button up there that says pull to start?"

Terra pulls the button and the cherry picker turns on.

"What the hell! Why do you have a key if it doesn't do anything?", Terra complained.

Back on the ground, Umbra spoke to Aqua, "Ok, so now we got to go and kick Ven's ass for leaving us up there..." *Umbra turns around to Terra and talks through the megaphone* "For 4 and a half hours!"

When the golf course was completed, everybody awaited to begin the game. Ven started running to the porta potties.

Terra and Umbra laughed and Umbra shouted, "Number one or number two Ven?"

Ven puts two fingers up in the air.

Terra mumbles to Umbra, "Dude, lets get back at him for leaving us up there."

Terra and Umbra duck tape the porta potty that Ven was using and start shaking it.

Ven shouts from inside, "Hold on, I gotta wipe my ass!"

Umbra shouts, "We're just gonna leave you in there for the rest of the golf game. See you Ven!"

Later on, at the 8th hole, Umbra scores a hole in one.

"OH! HOLE IN ONE!", Umbra shouts.

Everyone hears, from across the field, Ven shouting, "Yo, Umbra got a hole in one?"

Everyone starting laughing histarically.

10 holes later, Umbra and Terra go to the porta potty and speak to Ven.

"Yo Ven, we lost!", Umbra said.

"I don't care, just get me out of here.", Ven said in a low voice.

"Ok Ven you want out?", Umbra said.

Terra and Umbra push the porta potty over on its side and Ven starts screaming.

"Ew! Ew! Oh my god, It's everywhere! Dude seriously let me out if freaking stinks in here."

Terra rips the tape off and Ven jumps out.

Umbra says, "Dude, you missed one hell of a good golf game."

"I don't really care.", Ven replied in a joking mood.

Terra started speaking, "Yeah, everyone started making out with Aqua during the game when we got bored."

Ven, looking mad, said, "What the hell man, you made me miss that?"

Aqua walks up, "What's going on here?"

Ven replies, "Aqua, how could you?"

"What are you talking about?", Aqua said confused.

Umbra and Terra started laughing and ran off.

Ven said back to them, "You bastards!" 


	2. Aqua on her Period

Note: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters, content, etc.

Ven walks into the bathroom and looks into the mirror.

He looks at the reflection to notice the trash can with a bloody piece of toilet paper on the top.

"Huh?", Ven questions himself.

Ven picks up the bloody paper and looks at it puzzled.

"Hmmm...I wonder if maybe Nex has been in here treating a bullet wound or something?"

Ven smells it and nearly pukes on the floor.

"Oh my god! It smells awful!"

Ven walks back into the room carrying the bloody piece of toliet paper with him.

"Hey Terra, I was in the bathroom when I found this piece of toliet paper with blood all over it!"

Terra looks over to Ven disgusted.

"Oh my god! Ven, put that back! What's wrong with you?!"

"What do you mean? I thought maybe Nex was in there or something and probably treated a bullet wound."

"Oh my god, you mean you don't know? Damn, you should of learned this back in health class!"

Ven giggles a little, "Well what is it?!"

"Ok Ven now listen close", Terra said as he quickly looked around to make sure that they were the only one's in the room. "Every month, girls have their "period" which makes them start gushing blood out of....uhhh...a spot."

Ven's eyes widen and blushes a little, "Oh"

"Yeah and during that time they become a little...moody. Which is actually a bad thing for us guys."

Ven nods, "Oh, well I guess that means that we have a little bit of a problem on our hands then?"

Terra replies, "Nah, nothing that we can't handle."

Ven walks back into the bathroom and drops the bloody paper back into the trash can and washes his hands about five times.

"God, to think that Ven wouldn't know that stuff by now..."

Terra gets cut off as Aqua comes bursting into the room, slamming the door behind her.

"God, I hate this day! I hate anoying boys trying to mess around and hit on me all the time and I'm really getting tired of everybody wondering why I'm so mad!", Aqua shouts.

Ven walks up, "Well Aqua, what did you do today? By the looks of things, you must have just been beating up on boys all day long."

Aqua looks at Ven as if she didn't want to hear another word from anybody.

She leans against the wall and slides down to the floor.

Terra breaks the silence, "Yup, it's that time of the month again!"

Aqua walks up and slaps Terra across the face.

Terra walks to the bathroom with his hand on his cheek and looks into the mirror. He decides to treat the scratch marks he just recieved for saying a stupid comment like that to her.

"Aqua, is it really?", Ven asked.

Aqua shook her head yes with an angry face, tears going down her cheeks.

"Well, I didn't even know that girls had stuff like that happen to them. Terra just told me a few minutes ago."

Umbra, Avis, and Nex walk in the room.

Umbra looks around to see Aqua crying on the floor, Ven sitting next to her, and Terra treating a scratch wound on his cheek.

Umbra just shakes his head and says, "It's that time of the month again."

Aqua gets up from the floor with an angry look in her face and the boys scatter.

Umbra hides under the bed, Avis clings to the cieling, Nex and Terra get in the bathroom and lock the door, and Ven hides behind the curtains.

"Come on boys, give me a break! I won't hurt you...much. Just come on boys...get out!"

Terra shouts to Nex inside the bathroom, "Well, go out there!"

"Hell no! You go out there!"

"Ok then, we'll both just stay in here!"

"Good plan!"

Aqua rolls her eyes and waits for the boys to come out.

At around ten o'clock at night, Aqua sits on the bed watching TV and shouts, "How long are you boys going to be hiding?"

Everyone shouts back, "How long are you going to be like that for?"

"I won't tell you until you come out."

"Then we won't come out until you tell us!"

"Ok boys", Aqua says as she fluffs her pillow and puts her hands behind her head, "I've got all the time in the world." 


End file.
